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Guilt: Do You Promise, Dad?

by Don Mcmullen

Prince George, British Columbia
Canada

I am not sure if my method is unique or not but here goes. I have tried quiting smoking numerous times, and all were unsuccessful, until now. I went on a fishing trip during the May long weekend and came home late on a Monday night. I took my three kids to my house and made them something to eat, gave them a bath and put them into clean clothes. Did I forget to mention that I am divorced? Read on. Before I could leave my house, my ex-wife was already calling me to see what the delay was. Let me re-word that, she was "demanding" what the delay was. I told her I was on my way and arrived at her house about five minutes later (she lives close by). She couldn't wait to tie into me about being late (8:30 pm). Of course her conversation once again turned to how much money I pay her for child support (55% of my take home pay). This in turn opened the door for her to once again ridicule me for smoking in front of my children. My kids were already getting worked up from her chewing me out about life in general. When she started on me about the smoking, my son (who has asthma)stop trying to pick a fight with me and tended to the kids. She pulled them inside and slammed the door. I no sooner got home and my phone was ringing. It was my son. He was still sobbing and asked me only one thing; "Dad, will you please stop smoking?" Of course I said I would (this is of course my standard answer to this question). But this time was different. My son added a new element to this question and this is what has made the difference for me. He said, "Do you promise Dad?" The lump in my throat just about suffocated me. How do I answer this question? I thought for a few moments and blurted out a loud, "YES!" What the hell did I just do? If I don't quit I will be breaking a promise to my son. How could I be so stupid!! I decided to sleep on it and see what I should do. When I woke up in the morning I decided to use this promise to my benefit. Every time I think about a cigarette, I will picture my son crying and pleading with me to stop smoking. I strongly feel that this promise is the only reason I am not smoking right now. Even though I used Zyban and the patch, this is the difference for me. Here's the best part though. My son kept asking me when I would quit and of course I had to tell him that this is something that has to be planned and I needed a quit day (yes, I was just trying to stall him....lol) Father's Day kept popping into my head for some reason. You guessed it, I quit smoking on Father's Day and have not had a cigarette since. I owe it all to my son (and my nagging ex-wife.....lol) Thank you son, I love you. Dad