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Keep a Journal: Write Down Your Thoughts As You Quit

by Anonymous

Gloucester, Virginia
United States

I start this journal today 7-10-01 to help me accomplish my goal in quitting smoking, TODAY! Journaling will help me see me for the addict I am and give me insight to overcome my addiciton. It will also help me with the weight gain I will soon see. Reality, I will gain weight.I am an addict to nicotine. I compare this addiction to being a person who is addicted to drinking or doing drugs. It is hard to quit, and has been a monkey on my back for many years.As I walked out the door today to visit my patients, (I am a nurse and know the damage this does to me) I tell my self, my patients will really benefit from me not smelling stale smoke on my uniforms, and I will benefit from breaking an addiction, and setting an example.. A non smoker really doesn't understand this addiciton, with the exception of my dear husband.He has helped me to finally decide to kick this nasty habit encompassing 27 years!He too suffers from what my second hand smoke has done. At least the past 5 years I did not smoke in the house, but that is no excuse to the damage the second hand smoke has done to my family.Remember, the smoke smell still lingers on your clothes and in hair, on your breath, in your car and yes it still gets on the furniture. This still can cause asthma attacks. This is now why I ask myself, WHY DO I STILL WANT TO SMOKE? I don't, I want to quit and will successfully accomplish my goal this time.I am joining a on line diet program today to help guide me, since I know I will gain weight. I have lead a sedentary lifestyle and need change.. I am already 30 pounds over my ideal weight, which is not good. I am tired of buying an entire wardrobe over and over. I can bend over and see my toes but I can't touch them, my knees creak and crack when I walk, my back sometimes aches, oh my heavens my whole body is a complete mess!In mid life do I really want to continue in this manner with all this excess baggage or do I want to make changes to better myself? Don't you really want enjoy what life has to offer?I will be glad to be smokefree again and to be able to see my ideal weight of 130 lbs again. Oh heavens 125 would be good to see. My initial weigh in tody is 169 pounds.I don't desire to have a heart attack or stroke. Today, I will keep reminding myself I can do this. I want to live smoke free. I want to be in better physical shape and will try to meet that goal. My biggest goal is to live life day for what that day brings, enjoy my future.Surprising most children do pick up the habit.I thank God that my child has never picked up the habit, and thanking GOD daily for that. Prayer and Mind are some amazing things.I failed in the past because I wasn't ready. I have seen the damages from smoking from my profession, that hasn't given you a clue for what you may face? It isn't a pretty sight to see. Someone without a throat, nose, half a face gone, black spotted lungs. I will use these visual reminders to help me succeed. It isn't pretty having to carry an oxygen tank around. Yes, you have tried the gum, the patch, cutting down, & cold turkey in the past. Why did I fail, I am addicted, and wasn't ready to quit. This time is going to be successful.My plan is weird but it will hopefully be successful. Today, I will purchase the generic patches at Wal-Mart and have them ready for my urges I will encounter today. I will treat myself to an excercise program, lets try yoga this time. The dicipline will help you. This will help enhance my fitness program, give me the discipline, balance and focus I desire to succeed. I will use a rubber band to snap my wrist for each urge I get to be a reminder of the frequency of my habit. I will use the money jar system and deposit in it the cost of a pack of cigarettes at each desire to go buy a pack or carton. At the end of the month the family will help tally $ collected and deposit it away into a savings account, for each day I remain smoke free. This will be my reward and our family reward to spend after 1 year being smoke free. I am going to use this as an inspiration to be successful this time, and benifit from the reward. I have smoked since I was 15 years old, a heavy chain smoker then, now a 2 1/2 pack smoker per day. This is silly to continue this nasty habit.I have set a target date for today, 7-10-01. Maybe I will try Zyban too? This is the exerpt from my journal.Now to update, I got the Rx for Zyban but when I went to get it filled I found I couldn't use it due to another Rx contrindication. So Zyban was not an option. I have heard wonderful results on this drug. For those who wish to try it go for it. My main method was to cut back until I was 3-6 cigarettes a day. Set my quit date and put my plan into effect, then quit cold turkey. I did use the patch system again and found it successful. I found evenings were a better time for me with the patch application and removal process just before bedtime. By wk 3 I didn't need the patches. I still journal daily with my progress and accomplishments. I feel by sharing my reasons for quitting with family and friends really helped me this time. I still re-read this statement of commitment. Another tip I that I used was stir straws. I went to Sams club and bought those plastic stir straws and placed them in an empty pack. I carried that empty pack around with those straws for 2 weeks after I quit and would take a straw from it and chew on the straw. Week 3 I discarded that empty pack and just carry the straws around. I also bought Altoid peppermints and popped one at each craving and chew on the straws. I still take a breif walks at work during my breaks outside and avoid the smoking areas. 7 weeks so far but still have urges to smoke. I am doing well, no cheating or caving in to the urges. I keep reminidng myself why I don't want to smoke, and that I don't need that first one.MW