Home > Quit With a Friend > I Just Sat There and Cried

Quit With a Friend: I Just Sat There and Cried

by Lisa Collen

Niskayuna, New York
United States

My method was to choose a date (with my daughter) we both quit together and then we did it. We didn't use the patch or anything else but I bought the patch so that if I absolutely felt like I couldn't do this, I'd have something to fall back on. It was kind of my safety net. We smoked our last cigarette at about 7:00 pm so our first several hours of non-smoking was while we were sleeping. The hardest part was dealing with the mind games and the addiction. I reached a point where I absolutely felt like I wasn't going to make it and I could go to the store and buy a pack and have just 1. I spent about 2 hours fighting with myself and struggling with whether or not to smoke just one. After forcing myself to get through that particular episode that all together lasted about 3 hours, things were better. We quit on 4/29 and for me it's still a daily struggle. I'm edgy, get the jitters and have anxiety attacks. I will get really strong cravings out of nowhere. It was really mostly a mental struggle for me and getting through that first 3 days was key. At times I thought it was impossible. Now it's still a matter of talking myself out of smoking because now I sometimes start to think that I'm over the addiction so just 1 won't hurt me but every time I start to think that I tell myself that if I was really over the addiction I wouldn't be wanting to smoke and I'll just be starting the addiction process over again. For me there was no magical formula. I tried Zyban, the patch and hypnosis all fairly recently so this has been an ongoing struggle for about the past year to quit. I go through a ton of tootsie pops every day and it does help to just stuff something in your mouth when you get a craving. I also have a lot of sugar free hard candy laying all over the house and in my car. However, nothing but willpower got me through the 1st 3 days. The mental and physical withdrawal was awful. If you can make yourself get through those days, it gets much better and tolerable. At one point I just sat there and cried for about an hour because I just felt so hopeless and depressed. At that point it's very easy to tell yourself that having just 1 to get you through won't hurt. The truth is it does.